Believe it or not, this show started off as a 1 beer episode… It soon turned in a direction that left us no choice to to try and find a beer in Ontario Canada worth the high currency converted price! 

If there is a great beer in Ontario…  We want to know.  We recently tried some New Amsterdam beer and it was good for a European Import equivalent, but it didn’t “show us anything”.   Steam Whistle has a good vibe in downtown Toronto.   The Hockley beers were OK, but that was not enough to make us celebrate.  Those other 2 listed…  Holy smokes…  Some of the worst ever tried on TBR.

Beers on the show:  Steam Whistle Pilsner, Alexander Keith’s India Pale Ale, Hockley Black and Tan,  Hockley Dark, Hockley Irish Stout, Well’s IPA, Bell’s Batch 9000

subjects of matter on this Canadian Beer train-wreck:

• www.thebeerreport.com
• This show is not generally about beer!
• Episode Sponsor:  Dick Cheneys Bionic Ticker!
• Dick Cheney’s lesbian daughter and the political “cred” it brings him.
• Canada bashing.
• Steam Whistle brewpub and Canadian craftbeer culture.  Baby steps!
• CHUD:  Steampunk Sucks!  (But he’s never seen Firefly)
• Danny Glover talk!  This is white hot current! 
• BEER DUMP!
• Groucho is everywhere!
• This is NOT like any India Pale Ale we have ever had on the show!
• Steven Hawkings has had kids???
• Stupidest beer ever drank on The Beer Report?  http://www.keiths.ca/
• BEER DUMP!
• http://www.hockleybeer.ca/  (Look at the Links page!  Its nearly communist!)
• Brewed by hand???  Really???  Who doesnt say that anymore?
• What would concentrated darkness pour like?
• More Alexander Keith hate… 
• Canada is truely the wasteland of Beer!  Beer laws suck!  LCBO and The Beer Store have Ontario held hostage. 
• The Beer Store = The Little Ceasars of Beer!
• Free health care is not worth crappy beer!  Knock-wurst patrol!
• TBR needs to start a “Free Canada” campaign. 
• New Amsterdam Brewery came off well on a previous tasting.
• Peter Steel, porn name or legit metal stud?
• The smell of Darkness?  Joe Pesci’s trunk?
• www.craftbeerradio.com did an amazing study about beer and glass serving temps!
• Apology to Greg at CBR!
• Liquid Midnight???  Marketing a Soulless beer!
• Blurred out awards on the Hockley Cans!?!?!?  What are they hiding?  Or making up?
• BEER DUMP!
• Canada, whats up?
• BEER DUMP!
• Unibroue…  The clean white towel surrounded by turds!
• American Beer rocks out the evening of dreck!
• Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter???  CHUD has never heard of it!!!
• Other political characters that can get into the game of killing the undead.
• Thomas Jefferson, Ghost Hunter.
• Andrew “Old Hickory” Jackson, Zombie Killer!
• Invest in South America.
• Archive.org
• Twitter CHUD:  tbrCHUD
• Geocities!
• We leave you with our favorite Canadian export!  Never Surrender Canada!

All beers that are not made in the USA were purchased at an LCBO in Ontario Canada in the August of 2011.   They have been refrigerated and keep cool for the duration that they sat idle.  Show recorded in March 2012.  We don’t care what you say, those beers would not have tasted a whole lot different fresh!

Direct Link to the show: 

Beer on the show:  Banana Bread Beer from Well’s. 

This beer was handpicked and given to Groucho by Superfan, PJ.

Shout-outs abound!  Count ‘em up!  We are hoping to make Jeff at www.craftbeerradio ‘s ears bleed with this massive shoutout to Super Fan PJ!

1. Provenance bitches!  More label complaints from the Groucho and CHUD, Marketing genius’!
2. Pour hard!
3. Fair Trade Banana’s and Mineral Water???
4. Chiquita beer!
5. Church socials rock!
6. Brewing with bananas?
7. CHUD slams Kentucky and Tennessee!
8. Boomers suck.
9. http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-we-ruined-occupy-wall-street-generation/
10. Groucho’s truck makes cool noises!
11. Beer label bitching.  Kalamazoo Stout might be the worst label ever!
12. Greg who? 
13. Nightcrawler Dan and the Beer and B movie night.
14. Banana flavor???????  WTF???????
15. Juvenile name calling for Greg Weiss-Supremacist!

We love you Greg! 

Listen to this organic debacle here: 

One take show!  35 minutes of beer fueled goodness from Groucho and CHUD. 

Beer on the show: Piraat, aged from some unknown year.

On the show:

• CHUD, as usual doesnt know his Belgian beers.
• Beer chunkage.
• Angela Meeaarrkkelll! 
• EU is like a gated community.
• Ron Paul’s stock portfolio…  According to CHUD.  Believe it or not!
• Big Foamy Head trash talk… They probably sent their fillings to Cash4Gold.
• Thank those super fans!  PJ!
• Porn Star watches?  Not quite a ‘Vet.
• One with the road?
• Car shopping for the emotionally detached.
• Double Belgian fake beer geek cred.  CHUD rant that even ditches on Stone Brewing???
• Ear stretching…  NECK BANDS!!!  Bring them back!
• Ticker Toy Face!
• TBR Tat Talk (TM).
• Who’s the REAL DEAL?  Why does it always fall back to Vlad?
• TBR Golden Spatula award!
• Stick your Piraat…

Beer on the show purchased at Broadway Liquors in Pekin IL.  The finest craft beer selection in Tazewell County IL.  Again, we plug because we love!

Listen here: 

Groucho and CHUD are back! Sorry for the filler material over the past month. 3 new shows will be at your virtual doorstep in the weeks to come!

Beers on the show: Finch’s Beer Cut Throat Pale Ale (www.finchbeer.com) Bell’s Two Hearted (www.bellsbeer.com)

1. Pangea? What is that label?
2. What the Hell kind of Pale Ale is this???? Groucho says English. CHUD says its earthy.
3. What are the Quad City’s kids?
4. Jim Rome voice?
5. CHUD has to blow his nose!
6. “I dont understand you”.
7. Hop guessing? Orange Peel filler?
8. Beer tastebuds have changed… We need to try a Hopsickle again.
9. 2 Brothers quality slide?
10. Mitt vs Obama? TBR political talk?
11. Mrs Obama’s nice big ass.
12. Gary Johson? CHUD makes the case.
13. Groucho has a whacked out pallette? Bell’s isnt tasting correct?
14. That Finch logo?
15. Sports teams with animals for logos can be spruced up as well!
16. The Miami dolphins? C’mon!
17. RAPE is a Words with Friends word! Spanish Black Beans are NOT a WWF word!
18. Never use your phone to check info!
19. Every good bar should have a book of encylopedias!
20. Beer fridge probs.
21. Toast to the Beer Fridge!
22. Nasty weird Belgians.
23. Kudo’s!
24. HGH testing in the NFL?
25. CHUD’s never seen Sling Blade????
26. www.thebeerreport.com
27. CHUD NEEDS TO TWEET!!!! Pressure him!

Beer on the show purchased at Friar Tuck in Bloomington and Peoria IL. They should really kiss our ass for all this free advertising!

Beer Report Extra! Groucho, CHUD and AB have been trying to age this show in order to make it better… But, like a Pliney, our shows are best fresh!  Dont even try to reference how old this show is.  It will frighten you how long its been sitting.

Beer on the show:  Scots Pine Ale.  Visit them at www.heatherale.co.uk

1. Product of Scotland!
2. Sweet and Piney!
3. XXX, Rick Dowland interview…  Will show up eventually!  Blast Beer idea was stolen by Colt!  Snoop Dog is part of the Man trying to keep XXX Brewing down!
4. Kevin Matthews stuff…  Old DJ from WLUP in Chicago that was cherished by the whole Markks family back in the 80′s/90′s.
5. WSCR 670 talk.  Mike North got screwed.  Boers and Bernstein are great?
6. Lawrence Holmes love!  twitter:  @laurencewholmes
7. Bell’s Raspberry Ale was a bit of a letdown.  So was Angelshare!
8. Re fermenting our home brew.  Thanks to Phil at MyLifeAsAFoodie!
9. Building a bat house?  METAL!
10. Wake AB and kill this show!
11. Great import with a good story.

Beer on this show bought at Friar Tuck in Peoria IL.

Get your fix here: 

Beers on the show:  Newcastle Winter IPA, 3 Floyds 2007 Behemoth, Dalton Brewing Cerberus Russian Imperial Stout  2011.

On the show:

1. Classic Everclear Channel – CHUDco Christmas record advertisement.
2. Holiday show miss-start…  Where is Dino?
3. Newcastle PR firm and creating buzz.
4. Sailor Jerry and Newcastle Brown = The Castle Jerry boilermaker
5. Hoopmaster is MIA.
6. Love for the Newcastle and how this beer works when are sitting in the current English pub.
7. Kudos to you CHUD.
8. Beer Advocate event visited by Groucho at Kellehers in Peoria.  The Beer Report’s beers did pretty decent.
9. Apology to the entire population of Russia for the last show and our support of Vlad Putin. 
10. Screw aging the beers!
11. DeStihl (Normal) on New Years Eve?
12. Homebrewing love.
13. Tried that beer yet Kevin?  Go Seahawks!
14. Lets get back to O’Fallon Brewery to deliver some beer!
15. Stone Beer Fest 2012???
16. Zombie Christmas.
17. Zombies Suck now!
18. Chinese Vampire generation.
19. Euro has got to crash!!!
20. We need a new planet to exploit.
21. No sympathy for the 99%.  Look around the rest of the world!
22. Last Star Fighter reference…  Kudos to those who knew that one!
23. Hipster Christmas albums.
24. Dino…  The king of Cool.
25. Bonus Beer Bob…  He’s metal, and his stories ARE better than yours…  And he DID do all that cool stuff!  The most interesting man in the world!
26. CHUD gives Bob’s beer the re-verb lead-in.
27. Chocolate Velvet Cake beer?
28. Homebrewing is like underground black-metal tapes.
29. Christmas movies.  Muppets are commies. 
30. Beer Safari Christmas Videos…  Remember when???
31. Don’t go throwing Port wine around hoping to make a decent beer!
32. TBR toastes Jimmy Carter!
33. Trans Siberian Transexuals.
34. The Killers, Hot Fuss.
35. THANK YOU!  Toast to 2012 and many thanks to our listening public!

Christmas music on the show by She & Him, Sufjan Stevens, Bowling for Soup, Dean Martin, Slow Club, 3 Redneck Tenors, They Might be Giants,  The Killers.

Canned beer on special tonight!  This show is a one session… No edit canfest!

Beers on the show:  Brasserie de Saverne Boris Organic Ale,  Wild Onion Hop Slayer.

On the show:

1. Serf wear?
2. French beer and who drinks it.
3. Who is Boris?
4. Putin…  Round 2?
5. New cold war could make the US interesting again.
6. Monster Energy drink has a logo on everything!
7. Can Clinton come back?
8. Aprehentious
9. More hate for www.Ratebeer.com and www.Beeradvocate.com.
10. We are not beer geeks.
11. “I want the beer that Dale Earnhardt drinks!”
12. Overplaying head.
13. Dirty, Sassy and nicely floral…  Wild Onion kicks in some serious hop infused goodness into the show.
14. 420 compliant?
15. Hash?  CHUD would legalize it all!
16. Groucho admits defeat to Hop Slayer!
17. Todd and Craig Alstrom????  WTF?  (Getting our flaming retardant email address administered after editing this show”
18. Luggage theft suspected of funding www.beeradvocate.com
19. Beer newbies.
20. 18″ ear hoops?
21. Neck stretching would be a cooler masochistic hobby!  Scrotum stretching?  Full sleeve tat’s.
22. Alstrom tat’s?
23. Name that Alstrom.  (Craig = Jason?)
24. Who are the real Brothers in Beer?  Groucho and CHUD?  Todd and Jason? 
25. www.onionpub.com
26. This beer is healthy.  Its got LOTS of health!   Reduces colon polyps!
27. Contest is over, and we finally sent out a brew to super fan Kevin.
28. Every night is a Republican debate.  8 8 8!!!!
29. Putin will solve all of America’s problems! 
30. Saddam porn?
31. The Boston Wild Beer fest is probably a totally awesome. 
32. We are big in Botswana!  North South Africa.
33. Beer Report geography kicks in full speed.
34. Super rich need to buy more Kashmir jackets.   Avoid Pottery Barn.
35. Beer of the Year? 
36. Pliney thoughts?
37. Great hop harvest.  Jeff at www.craftbeerradio.com said he had tons of hops left over as well.
38. Goat cheese wth hops…  WOULD ROCK!!!
39. Huffing Hops.
40. Timestamped show.
41. Left Hand Nitro Stout!  Just released!
42. Guinness Black Lager?  Crap?
43. Giant F*ck-all Pile of Hop Beers. 
44. Craig and Sam?  Billy?  Wendy?  Mike?  Bob?  Phil?  Brian?  Ron?  Reggie Ahlstrom!

  Beers on the show purchaed in Ontario Canada at LCB and Broadway Liquors, Pekin IL.

Been a long time huh???  Hey, its been a busy summer! 

Groucho, CHUD and AB sat down for some great Georgia brews thanks to fan of the show PJ.  We are shocked to see that you CAN find some decent beer south of the Mason Dixon line.  Who knew?  We thought it was all Brahma and Busch Light down there! 

Beers on the show:  Sweetwater 420, Sweetwater IPA, Sweetwater Happy Endings (Catch and Release Series), Kirkland Pale Ale and Kirkland IPA. 

1. Google Plus…  Does it still matter?
2. Fail boat? 
3. Brian Dennehy?  What happened?
4. Cheap Pee Wee jokes.
5. Strangford Laugh brewing company was a big scam.  German malts in St. Patties Best?
6. Deadliest Warriors.  Taliban vs Irish Freedom Fighters.
7. Expired beer.
8. Huck and Tom catching fish on the bottles…  Less Injun Joe.
9. Serving cat at the flea market.
10. Globe Trekker, eating rat in Africa.
11. China bashing.
12. Paris Hilton’s contributions to society actually outweigh the Cardashians!
13. Happy Endings.
14. First Georgia beers on the show?
15. More Pee Wee talk.
16. Superfans…  Pj, Gary, TeeWinks, BoSoxPats (May be a rep from Colt 45) Keelhauler, Kevin F.
17. How many years on the air now?
18. iPod deaths.
19. Hall Pass…  Too much cock for Groucho.
20. Captain America talk…  CHUD whips out his nitpickers guide.
21. CHUD goes to Vegas.
22. David Copperfield.  Underwhelming?
23. PJ sets us up with some COSTCO beer!
24. What the hell is “Signature” service?  A joke at this point.
25. Kevin Costner vs Dick Cheney.
26. Dances with BP.
27. Dick Cheney is heartless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
28. Kirklands signature?

Download this whale of a show here: 

Special thanks to PJ for donating these fine beers AND OTHERS IN THE PAST to The Beer Report.  We totally appreciate all fan support!

Groucho & OFallon Brewery at The Great Taste of the Midwest 2011 from Groucho Markks on Vimeo.

( I swear writing one of these sounds like I am writing a letter to Penthouse forum.  Hey look at the cool stuff I did, and listen to me brag about it.  Its not my intent.  But the excitement is very similar)

Saturday was starting off early.   As ussual!  Madison is a good 3 hours from home.  So, not knowing much about where I was going to park catch up with the guys… I left at around 7:45 AM. 

I caught a couple text’s from Dave telling me they would be at the park when I got into town.  It was confirmed that I would be serving and I was on my own for a parking space.  Parking worked out well… I pulled up to a baricade and talked to a “Police Ranger” asking him where to park.  He told me that the area I was in was restricted to staff.  I told him I was serving for a brewery… He let me park without any more questions! 

One text to Dave, and he was on his way down with my wristband.  I stood around at the gate for a while… But after watching all these dudes walking through proclaiming they were volunteers… I realized I was doing that “Law Abiding Citizen” thing that I seem to be falling into.  Must be making up for past transgressions?

I caught Dave midway to the gate.  We headed to the O’Fallon booth to find head brewer, Brian Owens, hanging out with his new brewing partner Jason Small.  This is killer!  Brian never comes to these fests!  Well, not the few that I have caught up with Dave at in the past.  Dave is now representing Buffalo Brewing Company.  So, I would be left wtih Brian and Jason.  I was praying that I would not let them down!  This was all new to me!  Brian was pretty easy.  He said “go grab some beers” when we were just standing around. 

I started to wander.

One mega-plus side to showing up to a fest 2 hours early…  Turns out that you have lots of time to sample beers before the crowds are released.  I had to tweet our buddies Mike and Chad that I was getting a pretty good buzz while they were standing in line outside! 

I looked around a lot of stations.  Said “Hello” to Matt Potts from DeStihl.  He was obvously in the middle of some hose problem when I tried to chit chat.  I grabbed a St. Dekkara Sour… It was brilliant as usual.   Ran into Travis at the FFF booth and talked a bit.  I was tipped off by Brian to check out the wild beers over at the Livery.  Holy Crap!  They had 4 amazing sours!  All excellent! 

This kind of sets the mood.  You have all these great beers at your fingertips.  What do you do?  Well for me… I get bored doing this by myself.  I got back to O’Fallon and readied myself for the crowds.  Brian gave me a rundown the beers and ABV we were serving. 

Wheach, Gold, 5 Day IPA, Hemp Hop Rye, Black Hemp and some freshly bottled Pumpkin Beer. 

We still had lots of time.  I got a chance to talk with Jason and found out that he is just like the rest of the brewers in this St. Louis circle… Laid back and easy going.  Learned some new info on the brewery:  Stu, who we first met at the brewery when he was low man on the pole…  Had left for a corporate job (Ha!  Sorry Stu!  Missed ya!)  Also, Tony and Fran had some the brewery to Jim Gorczyca, a former A/B executive.  Turns out that our lack of O’Fallon beers in Peoria were part of a larger problem as the brewery was going through some struggles.  Jim did not come to the fest, too bad, I wanted to meet him.  But there is word they GOOD changes will be coming soon for the brewery.

We had a few regulars at teh booth that loaded up on Wheach…  Turns out they were all St. Louis transplants that were missing their local beer.  I was pretty generous on a few of these ladies pours.  They kept coming back to seek me out! 

About 3 hours in… I ran off again.  You will see that in the video.  Its a madhouse.  It had rained that morning…  And I had hoped that it would not turn into a mudbath.  The grass stayed amazingly dry-ish.  About 5PM it started raining again, but by that time…  The grass was the last thing on my mind.

I did run into Chad and Mike from the Peoria beer scene.  We had a frantic “Bonus Round” for the last hour.  I used by brewers pass to grab a few (dozen) behind the tappers glasses before the fest shut down at 6.

After that…  I hit our station for tear down.  We still had some beer… So, those kegs were heavy!  After getting the truck all packed up.  We headed over to the brewers dinner.  That was a welcome relief.  As you can hear from my voice at teh end of teh video.  I was horse, and pretty exhausted.  Some chow and a Coke had me back in good spirits for the rest of our night out.  You see…  Everybody hits the local bars after the fest!!!  So, I will leave you with this….  It was more drinking and beer talk till 1AM! 

Good times!  Thanks Dave, Brian and Jason!!!! 

Oh, the ap for the Great Taste.  I almost forgot.  It was cool… But it was far to complicated and tedious for guys drinking beers.  Then again… I was not spending time in lines.  That might be a good place to use it.  Also, bandwith was at a premium during the fest.  I am guessing that all 3000 folks there had a smart phone in their pocket, and you could tell this by the slow network response on the ap.

 Links:

www.ofallonbrewery.com

www.buffalobrewingstl.com

http://www.mhtg.org/great-taste-of-the-midwest

The Harvest Cafe sounds like the place to be on September 1st!

Unfortunately, Groucho has already signed up for a beer dinner at the Publik House in Peoria for the next week…  So, mama is laying down the law that I cant pony up for both.  I will be sure to take lots of pictures of my dinner.

If you can… Please support the local guys down in Delavan!

Here is the info:

Craft Beer Dinner Thursday September 1st

 Five course farm to table dinner paired with Lost Abbey beers – $65

 Seating begins at 5:30pm, Dinner will be served promptly at 6:00pm.

 Reservations are required

 Please call  Hometown Wine & Spirits at 309-244-9000